Its the Carrie in me

* Warning this blog may be a little Sex and The City- of which I do not apologise, only pre-warn*

Being a single girl in a ‘new’ age of communication where you can casually poke those you fancy on facebook or tweet- stalk celeb crushes from afar, it appears it has become all too much to expect a boy you like to revert back to the old fashioned way of talking. Gone are the days when calling someone’s home phone (ok, mobile) was acceptable- now its all texting, whatsapp, bbm and facetime (scary!) without actually communicating in person. Giving out your phone number used to be a big deal and almost always meant you’d be texting or calling away within the day of meeting-usually resulting in that old fashioned ritual ‘dating’. But not any more, as my other single girlfriends are quickly finding out! For the sake of this blog I shall sub-group the types of  ‘phone-easy’ men, who are more than desperate for your number in the moment of flirty banter but soon, you discover, slip into one of the following categories:

‘Dead-fish flirt‘ – aptly named as they appear flirty and full-on but once they get texting its all one or two word answers (usually mis-spelt) the flirting stops and he becomes as much fun as a dead fish. He will almost certainly message in text speak. Eg. ‘Wot u up 2?’ etc.  followed by a heavy use of emoticons such as 😉  and 🙂 relying on their use of ‘smilies’ instead of language, these types will almost never call you. Or ask you out

‘Persistent percy’s’ (Or if they were women; desperate)- You may have had a few too many and been easy giving out your number post-cheeky snog so when they text you ignore it, or immediately delete. So they text again. Or worse- call. Give these guys the benefit of the doubt because in my experience they turn out to be nice actually (and everyone likes to be chased) Lets face it they’re behaving exactly how women behave when we really, really like someone too

‘Game Players’– These guys will have called or text you within an hour of getting your number and when you reply- they won’t. For days. In fact four actual days so you may have even forgotten them! These guys think they’re soo cool but are also intrigued hence the text in the first place. Don’t play them by their games. Life’s too short!

‘Hopeful Henry’s’- These are the guys we girls tend to put our hopes in. We really like them, they seem keen too so when they text you literally can’t hold in your excitement and you reply. Then they reply back and things go all 🙂 and 😉 etc. And then nothing. No replies. No more texts…its all 😦 and if you’re a bit wine crazy (er-hum) it may even result in a drunken phone call at 2am along the lines of “Why haven’t you text me…WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME” etc.

Deletesville- The aptly named made-up village where we girls like to pretend we send men who are rubbish/ haven’t ever replied/ Are not worth replying to after several messages and therefore to prevent the wine-loon contacting them on a later date you swiftly delete their number and cleanse your phone of any contact. Deletesville is a fabulous place- don’t be afraid to send numbers there, it feels great!

Recently I have come across several different guys falling into these groups and each time I find myself baffled! Take my dear friend for example, she did the bravest thing known to the single person- asked a waiter for his number. When she was sober! And enjoying dinner! He gratefully accepted the offer and gave her his number, he then fell into the ‘Hopefull Henry’ category and almost immediately text her after she left the restaurant thanking her for asking. Now, it could have gone one of two ways- he should have then asked her for a drink and made the next move as she plucked up a lot of courage, they would have had a lush date (or not) and things carry on. But he didn’t. He quickly fell into the ‘Dead fish flirt’ and was all emoticons and no trousers (so to speak). Its safe to say he found his way to deletesville pretty quick. But why? Why accept it if you don’t want to follow it through, just say ‘Sorry I have a girlfriend’  etc.

Another dear friend found herself at the mercy of a ‘Persistent Percy’ and while she didn’t want to be rude and ignore his texts she didn’t fancy him. At all. She carried on as he were a friend; never suggested meeting and always made herself clear that she didn’t fancy him. He wouldn’t give up until she was forced to be blunt- and deleted his number. And facebook. He eventually got the hint!

My own experience of being asked for my digits (and being too easy giving them) involves a ‘Persistent Percy’ who turned out to be really sweet and a good laugh (positive) a ‘Game Player’ (so negative)- he’s now found his way to deletesville as I don’t have the time to be de-coding his dumb ’24 hour reply’ rule, and sadly a ‘Hopeful Henry’- a guy I really liked and who did text me several times. And then nothing. Ever.

Due to these recent experiences I have decided to do two things: One- I leave my phone at home to prevent the Hopeful Henry guy from hearing my loon wine rants and Two- I will now be fussy, I mean really fussy with who I give my number to to avoid all the confusion- or worse, discovering yet another sub-category of the modern single man! Who knew it was such a complicated world of communication out there, and what happened to the good old fashioned ‘wined and dined’ situation you found yourself in when someone you liked, liked you back?!

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8 thoughts on “Its the Carrie in me

  1. I love the responses and your welcome to your own opinion of me from what I have wrote, just as I have my own of you from what you’ve wrote hence the comment.
    I can quite honestly say I have no animosity’s towards women, I am not sexist and certainly not a mentalist.
    what I will say is though, the use of the word girl and the spelling mistakes and grammar (sorry did I use AND to much there) is because I saw this comment and decided to quickly write a response, sorry I didn’t have time to proof read it I didn’t think my comment was that important.
    As to the point of women enjoying sex, more to the point care free sex, I think it is brilliant that women can now do what they want and who they want. Lets face it as a single straight man that is only going to be a good thing for me and more fun. However this only works if the single women has her head screwed on and knows what she wants herself from what she is doing. Rather than the usual case of little girls running around a nightclub trying to play games.
    I’m glad you get so much from your blog and your friends do to, i hope you ladies have a good time! I’m not going to waste any more time on here appeasing you.

    Best wishes

    George

  2. Interesting – I suspect there is a lot of pain mixed in with this response, surely the whole point of the blog is to poke a little tongue in cheek fun at the whole dating game, no one would ever take this seriously, and its not intended to be so taken.

  3. Oh George, what a funny little man you seem to be and very sexist indeed.(the use of the word girl a lot suggests you have major issues with women and of course, calling someone a “slag”-wtf??) Does it frighten you that a woman can enjoy sex and write about it? There are names for men like you too……..

    The only mentalist, I can see is you, pet. Are you really a MAN? Look in that mirror again you little bully.

  4. Right,

    I have never read such a destructive piece of writing based on your views and stereotypes of men. Infact your views and obvious personal issues are becoming aware, it sounds to me like you like to try and put every man into a couple of box’s which is observed what ever happened to looking at the individual and more to the point your individual needs in your relationship with a man. every women is different and so are men. all this type of hate related information is completely destructive to the dating world and what ‘good’ advise women are getting about dating.

    i actually cant stand women like yourself who are full of themselves in the sense that every thing they say and feel is right, have you ever questioned that you might be wrong. have you ever thought about what a 9yr old girl reading your blog would think and how disheartening it would be for her to read. have you ever questioned that getting dolled up like a slag might make those groups of men your talking about or stereotyping might be looking at you for just that a slag, a quick bit of fun, and are just getting livid at your little games.

    it sounds to me you dont even know anything about yourself or your own thoughts, it sounds to me like this is someone quite bitter that loves to give out advice on her mates so called experiences and her own failures in relationships.

    if you ask me, and im a MAN. your mental issues and failure to have any direction to what you want in life makes you un datable, who would want to take out someone that is playing games or more to the point judging them on everything they do even something as petty as how they write a text message which is irrelevant. if a guy likes you he should treat you how you would like to be treated, ie if you are looking for that prince type bloke that whisks you off to get married or what you women say is a nice guy then thats how the man should treat you, if you are looking for a badboy dont be deluded into thinking that he wont cheat on you or act bad! i love girls that think they can change a badboy and cry when they dont its perfetic.

    IF you know what YOU want or looking for you’ll choose the right man, im not saying you wont have idiots in between but you will get the right man in the end.
    the best thing that this blog is going to do for any girl looking for advice is leave her single used and lonely, i hope no body takes your ridiculous idea of your own sex and the city blog trying to live the life of Jessica Parker. get your own life and experiences in order before you try giving advice out.

    Many Thanks George

thoughts please..

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