Recently some of my single friends have decided to take action on their slow-moving love-lives, and more importantly on rather mundane Friday nights in, and have joined dating sites in the hope they will find someone to fill an evening or two. One of my dear friends in particular was rather excited when she got thousands of messages of eager boys (seems online dating is a full-time job in itself!) and carefully filtering through the ‘applicants’ she vetted the more suitable ones for her until she found ‘The one’ for now!
Skip forward a cute ‘Dog-walking’ date and several coffee-shop meets and she began to realise that despite their nice dates and easy conversation that he is actually Mr bunny-boiler, Officer ‘Cray’ of Crazy Town; population- HIM. Unfortunately it has become apparent (after his subtle mention of her meeting his parents) after only the second date that he is rather too full-on but it was his third date behaviour that tipped my friend into a rather uncomfortable situation in which she has no other choice but to bin him off. The crime that led him here I hear you ask? Well….
He had decided it was appropriate to…wait for it….
design their future house. The house he imagined they would have together. After their third date he had actually designed a proper architectural- scaled drawing of their future home. And as if this wasn’t enough to send any sane single-girl running for the hills he then proceeded to inform my dear (panic-stricken) friend where their children’s bedrooms would be and which room would be best to host Christmas dinner…..
This actually happened.
Understandably she now needs to do the decent thing and chuck him- immediately! But as having previously been on the receiving end of some rather sudden ‘bin-off’ texts ourselves we put this to debate over dinner last night; To text or not to text? That is the question!
I am very much on the side of letting people down in the nicest way and even though its hard to have that conversation face to face whether you’ve had three dates or been together for years, you owe it to them to be honest and up front in person. However she doesn’t want to see him again, probably in fear he’ll propose or something, so I said the next best thing is to call up this ‘precious’ boy and let him down gently on the phone. Also avoids the awkward cry-face moment that no doubt would happen with him and my dear friend can go back to dating non- crazy types, I have heard there are still some out there.
This is the right thing to do surely?! Calling is the next best step and will make her look like a good person but at the same time gets the message across, again avoiding the crying face I imagine him to pull after being chucked for being far too keen. Perhaps I am also slightly sympathetic towards this otherwise unstable individual as I recently received a text from The Pilot along these actual lines…’I realised I couldn’t motivate myself to have dinner with you let alone motivate myself to see you in the future’. A text. No call to explain, or even a pity date face to face. Just a text. I certainly hadn’t pulled a stunt like Captain Crazy either and yet our rather fabulous international dates had been reduced down to one bin-off text. Still all great things come to an end sooner or later……