50 Shades too far?

I have been wanting to blog about EL James for about hundred years. Well, at least for as long as women have apparently enjoyed a bit of filth within literature, which shockingly goes back a bit further than March this year…

No human being living on this planet can deny the huge success that the trilogy “50 Shades” has proved to be for its author as the global scale of its popularity has seen it out-sell Harry Potter and the bible, apparently! Heck, even I found myself  jumping on the band-wagon as I  willingly purchased the trilogy whilst killing time in Euston station one Thursday morning. I won’t deny that I became completely absorbed in the Grey world for the next three weeks as I read the terribly written, badly spelt and grammatically challenged chapters that form the “Best- worst books I have ever read” (I quote myself) I stand by every word too; it is badly written, the story line is as weak and feeble as a new-born baby and yet I was hooked. I got so into the weird and wonderful world of Grey and his major issues that when I wasn’t reading the books I was telling anyone within a 10-mile radius to read them. I ranted on about it and told everyone I knew that they simply had to read these books because they were additively trashy and I needed to know I wasn’t the only one hooked on such filth . In fact I have now leant my novels out to both my fabulous single, and spoken for, ladies as word spreads about how addictive it is.

Some readers may excuse my sad behaviour as I am single and therefore find myself with a few extra hours spare in my life and a lack of action between the sheets could be forgotten with such filth between the pages of 50 shades. There is no denying the sexual content is explicit and unashamedly, perhaps this has something to do with it’s high popularity. Although this is hardly revolutionary as a subject matter in literature and the content isn’t anything more explicit than Lawrence’s ‘Lady Chatterley’, handcuffs and Red room’s aside. It also isn’t a new phenomena that we women like a bit of sex thrown in when reading because after all, the point of picking up a good (loose term)  fictional book is to get completely lost in the story, the plot and the overall fantasy- sometimes including good sex! It isn’t meant to be real- that’s the point! So why am I finding myself  reading articles and hearing women discuss 50 Shades like its really affecting them and their lives.

Take for instance a conversation I actually overheard on the train (Whilst I was in fact reading my 50 shades) between two women, one of them having read the books. The other was flatly refusing to read them. Her reason? Because she was scared if she started reading about how good their sex life was (Ana and Christian) it would make her realise how stale hers was, and whilst she knew it wasn’t great anyway she’d have rather ignored the situation between her and her partner….. What!? Oh god. What was wrong with this woman I hear you cry!? It is FICTION after all, emphasised as such when EL James describes Ana as being on the brink of orgasm if she so much as heard Christian breathe from the other room. Its ridiculous and clearly written in such a way that any sane person would get that it wasn’t entirely based on fact, wouldn’t they!? The novel also didn’t make me want to go out and find the nearest 20-something, CEO megalomaniac, control freak with billions in the bank and a ridiculous body of a god (Yes, women are actually trying to find their Christian!?) Firstly because they are very difficult to come across and, secondly (and most importantly I feel, for that aforementioned woman) He doesn’t actually exist. He is off of imagination. Therefore if you compare your poor, non-controlling, averagely paid, probably slightly hairy existing boyfriend/ life partner/ husband to said character he probably will appear suddenly disappointing and less interesting. For that poor deluded woman out there ‘seeking her Christian’, just remember- Christian Grey won’t be the one to bring you tea in bed or dry the dishes or even let you watch your favourite TV program with little protest, because he is not real.

In other news, I will be blogging daily from tomorrow on my LADS holiday in Ibiza. Content may become explicit (Sorry mum) but will make for an excellent coffee-time read. If I make it up every morning

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thoughts please..

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