What IS wrong with you!?

Apologies for the rather abrupt title but I thought it was rather fitting for the blog topic I am about to discuss.

Inspired by my gorgeous geordie friend, who is currently sporting a rather beautiful bump but not appreciating the idiotic and irritating things people say to pregnant ladies (read here) I decided to list the equally irritating and stupid things people (read; men, mainly) say to me and my single friends….. when they find out we’re on our own.

The first one inspired the title and was first said to me earlier this year;

“You don’t have a boyfriend?! What is WRONG with you then?”

Firstly, this is plain rude. There is NOTHING wrong with me,  I must have just missed the memo which stated ‘Boyfriends: Compulsory for when strangers ask you & other social events in which you are required to produce a plus one’ etc….

It doesn’t mean anything if you don’t currently have a partner and it certainly doesn’t mean I’m on my own because secretly I’m a crazy, bunny-boiling lunatic who should be avoided at all costs (incidentally I am not a lunatic) Even more sad is that since this first incident I have been asked approximately four times ‘What is wrong with you’… I am yet to think up something witty and quick for a reply to silence the imbecile asking such a stupid question.

“Such a waste, you being single” 

I’m not even entirely sure what this means!? Is it?? A waste for who?! I certainly don’t sit around not enjoying my freedom so its not a waste on my part, of course this was said to me by a man so who knows what it could actually mean…

“What does your boyfriend think of you wearing/ doing that?” 

Ok, this one is rather transparent as I know men only say this in a very obvious way to find out whether or not you are actually single, but it doesn’t deflect from being a stupid comment. Firstly, if you do find my boyfriend please do let me know as I wasn’t even aware I had one! Secondly, even if I did have a boyf he wouldn’t be the type to dictate what length my dress was or who I was talking to at a bar etc. So next time you want to know if a girl is single, try doing the normal thing and just ask her!

“You’ll be happier once you find a boyfriend” 

Actually said to one of my dearest girls who is incidentally single and SO far from being unhappy I have never, ever once witnessed so much as a *sigh* ‘I would quite like a boyfriend’ moment over a hangover coffee. Her supposed ‘friends’ (not any of her single ones) don’t understand why she actively chooses- and enjoys- being single and so jump to the conclusion that she would be so much more happier if she had a spooning partner of an evening……

This is infuriating, its a sad state of affairs when having a partner defines your happiness. What is wrong with people being happy within themselves and content with their own independent  life?! This sort of comment only shows its everyone else with the issue of being single, not the actual singleton

Leading me onto the next irritating comment the same friend has had to endure…

“You need to stop being so independent, it scares men away”…

Everything about this makes the (not so) tiny feminist inside me red with rage. How ridiculous, if a man is that easily scared off by a girl paying her half for dinner or treating  him to a round then they are not the kinda man we’d bother wasting a second more of our precious, independent girl time on. This is the 21st century isn’t it!?

“You’re running has come on well, you must be single”

Said to me in jest, annoyed me to the core. Not funny and no, just because I have an interest in exercising and enjoy running does not immediately indicate I don’t have a boyfriend (incidentally I don’t, but that’s not the point!)

I’m pretty sure that married people or people in relationships don’t have to put up with similar idiotic questions from single people, I certainly haven’t ever said “So, sex with the same person forever must be a bit of a drag” or “How do you cope having to wash your boyf’s sweaty football socks”, so why do people insist on making assumptions or asking me stupid questions about my personal life.

 

Geees

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One thought on “What IS wrong with you!?

  1. LOVE this particular blog story… ’tis too true. My absolute favourite comment is from my lovely and well meaning brother: “I would really like it if you found a boyfriend.” And I frequently get the qestioning look that says ‘hmm..no boyfriend..seems happy..lesbian?’.

    As a singleton of 4 very happy years, I have faced the “Still single? I wonder what is wrong with you…” comment; accompanied by the inevitable face juxtaposition of sad eyes and smug mouth; at every family event and old friend catch up since the glorious freedom fight of early 2009. To this awkward moment i recommend the following fail safe response to assist them in straightening their face: “I guess the problem is… I just don’t feel like I need to ‘settle’ for the wrong person…” ..then depending on how smug you want to be in return you can add: “it’s probably because my biological clock isn’t running out yet..” or “I’d rather have good sex less often than face a lifetime of being comfortably bored with someone i don’t fancy” or “you know, it’s pretty amazing being single… (insert anecdote of any of the things you find time to do because you have no responsibility to another)”.

    NB: Please don’t read this as an attack on the relationship… it truly is a wonderful thing IF you are happy with one another and in turn bring out the best in each other… but please recognise that being single is much much more prefferable to being in a stifling relationship where both parties are comfortable but neither party is happy.

thoughts please..

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